I NEED A CHANGE OF PACE
I NEED A NEW FUCKING LIFE
I WOULD LIKE VERY MUCH TO LIVE BY MYSELF IN SOME REMOTE PART OF THE WORLD
I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO HAVE A DIFFERENT WOMAN FOR A MOTHER, ONE WHO DOESN'T TREAT ME LIKE SHIT
I NEED SOME MORE TIME, ALSO
AND A BATH
AND SOME INTELLIGENCE
AND A LOT OF OTHER THINGS THAT I SERIOUSLY LACK IN
(LIKE SOME EMOTIONS AND Y'KNOW, BEING AN ALL-ROUND DECENT PERSON)
AND FINALLY I WOULD REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE TO JUST SIT WITH MY BEST FRIEND GETTING HUGS FOR A WHILE, BECAUSE CHRIST KNOWS I NEED THEM RIGHT NOW, BUT THE CHANCES OF THAT EVER FUCKING HAPPENING AGAIN IS LESS THAN NIL.

I'm having a stressed out fucking day and I don't like it at all and I really need to just calm the hell down and relax. Two cups of tea couldn't help and a few hours to myself didn't either, so I don't think anything else will work. I'm going to go to bed, possibly cry myself to sleep and wake up and feel like shit and do my homework and start another half term at school pretending that everything's okay when it's blatantly not.